Mental Health, the controversial topic when it comes to many different situations like trauma, stress, school shootings, learning about psychology and so much more. Although, many people may not know what it's actually like to experience a mental illness, whether it's Anxiety, Depression, etc. So, what does this have to do with me, you ask? Well, like the title, I have a mental illness!
What Mental Illness do I have?
My mental illness is Anxiety. I have an anxiety disorder that causes me to worry to no end to the point, where my life is nearly affected every day.
What Anxiety Disorder do you have?
I have an anxiety disorder called General Anxiety Disorder. It's a disorder, where, according to the Mayo Clinic, there's lot of constant, uncontrollable worrying. This worrying and panic, leads to a lot of symptoms that the Mayo Clinic lists on their website, these symptoms include Difficulty concentrating, perceiving situations and events as threatening, even if it isn't, inability to relax or let go of the constant worry (Mayo Clinic, General Anxiety Disorder, n.d.). Even things like having difficulty handling uncertainty, along much more.
What is my experience with General Anxiety Disorder?
To summarize, before medication and anxiety, I would experience a lot of constant, uncontrollable worrying, like I sort of do now. This would lead to paranoia, whether it was over a fear of drowning, due to one of my cousins trying to drown me for "fun", along with a sensory overload experience on a big boat when going Dolphin watching(I cried so much that I passed out), or some other fear like going to war or something that ultimately I would avoid the word or anything associated with it(I still do this part to a somewhat small degree). Heck, I could even reason my way out of my anxiety or become calm, because if I tried, I would end up in arguing with or being extremely hard on myself to the point of extreme guilt with tears running down my face with overwhelming anger, sadness, etc. However, now with my medication, I'm not as paranoia, I get better sleep (before I would be afraid to sleep, because I thought I would die while dreaming), and can calm myself a lot better without going crazy and lots more as well.
Does this interfere with me being Autistic?
Funny enough, it's the opposite way around. For example, If I miss a social cue or hear a loud noise, I became anxious, because of it.
Are you in therapy?
Yes, actually. I have been going to therapy ever since middle school. However, over the years, I have found a good therapist near me and have been helping myself through Cognitive Behavior Therapy, along with so much more.
Is there anything else I want to share about having anxiety and a mental illness?
Yes, first off, Anxiety is not just constant uncontrollable worrying, it can appear psychical as well. The psychical part about anxiety can include hyperventilating, back pain, headaches, tingling sensation, etc. Second, many people suffer from having anxiety disorders, in fact, it is the most common mental illness on earth by 19.1% of adults and 7% of children ages three to seventeen, despite how most develop symptoms at age twenty-one, according to the National Alliance of Mental Health (Anxiety Disorders, N.I.M.H, n.d.). This means that over forty-million adults in the United States have an anxiety disorder. As for children, I'm not sure how many. Lastly, like being Autistic, Anxiety disorders experiences are different for everyone, so try to be kind. Thank you!
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