Phrases, what are they? Words to give you wisdom, comfort, maybe even self-discipline as well. Sometimes they are okay and sometimes they are hard to hear. However, what if I were to tell you that even though some are well meant, it doesn't really give comes across as comforting or accepting as you might think? If you never thought about it, it's okay, because in this post, I will be sharing some phrases regarding disabilities, that I do not like as a Disabled woman myself with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Now, before we get started, I would like to note that this is just my opinion that is not to be taken as sacred word. I am not God and should not be treated as such. Your opinion is just as valuable as mine, Disabled or not. You are more than welcome to use these phrases, just know that I do not like these phrases as much, okay? Alright, now without further ado, here are the phrases that I do not like as an Autistic woman myself.
- Autism is not a disability, it's a different ability.
Now, yes, I know that just because you have a disability does not mean that it is an inability, I agree with that, one hundred percent. Yet, while this phrase means well, this usually comes from people, maybe like mothers, who want to make their Autistic child feel accepted in some way. Which don't get me wrong, I love, and I am glad that they are trying to accept their child, but here's the thing with that. It completely ignores the fact that Autism is a disability and the disabling parts within the life of being an Autistic person, child or not. For example, missing social cues, having sensory issues that can affect your daily life like not wanting to go on a boat, because of how rocky it is or wearing clothes that are too itchy and you don't want to wear them, or being too scared to go see fireworks, because of the noise being equivalent to the sound of gun shots or cannons, even with sirens. It hurts and it is not fun, despite what fakers trying to be us, looking at you, TikTok clout chasers. On that note, it's okay to call it what it is, a disability, while also loving and accepting your child or even yourself if you have a disability. Both can happen at the same time, especially in times where acceptance is really needed. You can also not want to be cured, that's okay too!
2. The only disability in life is a bad attitude or the inability to accept or respect differences!
I don't where to begin with this one. Disability is a disability. A bad attitude is not a disability or the ability to accept or respect people. I understand this is another quote trying to be accepting, but it doesn't make any sense to me at all.
(This is the quote I am talking about).
3. I am not special needs.
Alright, now, before every disability person on the left starts rallying up in the comments, let me explain to you why I don't like this one. I do not like this phrase, because what the words, special needs, come from. The words, special needs, comes from the fact that we have different needs that need to be meet that are DIFFERENT type of needs to be met. Yes, they are the typical standards that every human needs to live like love, food, water, shelter, support from friends, and all that. However, we also, if you are actually disabled and not a clout chaser, have ACCOMODATIONS that need to be set before we can do anything. It's not an insult and those who make it so, are not helping with this situation. Just, because you feel a certain way about it, doesn't mean that's what it is. So, yes, we are "special needs" in a sense that we need certain accommodations.
For the actual disabled people, just because you feel insulted by it and do not like it, doesn't the rest of us or neurotypicals have to use the same language that you want for your liking. That's narcissistic and very controlling of you to do that. As an actual disability person to another actual disability person, please go love yourself and go through the acceptance process that every disabled person has gone through. I had to go through it, my friends have done it, so you can too. In fact, you are not ableist to say that your disability is hard, whether you are Autistic, have Cerebral Palsy, Down Syndrome, whatever. Please do so for yourself and the rest of the sane disability people, who want to see you succeed like me.
And to the clout chasers reading this, read these words carefully, disrespectfully, you are not disabled, so stop spreading stupid shit around and get off the internet forever, you delusional freak of nature, go get a different job that grounds you in reality, sweetheart, thanks. Being Disabled is not a fucking costume and we are not your playground either, delusional freak, get up from your ass and stop hurting the disability community, thanks.
Also, to the ableist people, who think accommodations or special needs are "special privileges", they aren't. In fact, here's an example of a reasonable accommodation, not a special privilege like ableists think, from my life, when I was in grade school, in my IEP (an Individual Education Plan after I was actually diagnosed by a professional), I had an accommodation, where I needed to have a copy of the notes, because my disability affected my writing, because I would write really fast than my mind could think of a word, and by the time I would finish a sentence, I could barely read it. Heck, I didn't necessarily hold the pencil right either, so I need a grippy when I was first began school at all. This is a reasonable accommodations. If a special privilege would be that someone gave me a cup that I wanted from a store without having to pay, because they were my friend, if you will. See the difference?
And that's it, lovelies! I hope you enjoyed this post and like, comment, follow and share for more! With that said, see you all in next post! Bye!
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