Autism and Trauma: The Link Between

    Trauma, events that becomes so painful and scary, it goes beyond our coping abilities and into the category of trauma symptoms and/or trauma and stress-related disorders like PTSD. However, like other humans, Autistic people also face trauma, along with the rest of the adversity that they go through as well. However, it tends to be a little more than the average human sometimes, whether by our own, another disabled person, or a neurotypical. So, for today's topic, let's discuss the traumas that Autistic may possibly go through. 

  First off, What is Trauma?

 Trauma can be any event that, like mentioned before, was so scary and painful that you start experiencing post-traumatic stress symptoms; whether it's full-on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, aka. PTSD. Although, your trauma, if you have it, can turn so complex, you experience another diagnosis, like C-PTSD, Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is trauma disorder is like PTSD, where you meet the criteria for some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but you also experience things like worthless, self-doubt, symptoms like are look to Borderline Personality disorder. For instance, issues with identity, a big struggle with emotional regulation, and trouble with relationships as well (P. 752). However, unlike BPD, the symptoms are similar, but different. One example is the symptoms with BPD, within relationships, according to the DSM-5-TR, the person with this disorder will struggle with relationships that become unstable by alternating between two extremes called Idealization and Devaluation. This is different from people with C-PTSD, since the only reason why they have unstable relationships is due to their fear of trusting again, so these people, according research, will either cling to people that they love or avoid relationships at all cost. However, they are closely similar, because both disorders affect person and how they maintain or even form their relationships with others. However, they are also close in behavior like impulsivity, feeling of worthlessness, etc. Although, trauma can induce personality disorders like BPD or other type of disorders as well, for example, OCD. 

   However, it is important to note that not every painful event is traumatic and you do not need to have PTSD or C-PTSD to have trauma. You only need to quality under the criteria or at least some of it under PTSD. So, when someone tells you that everyone has trauma, do not believe them. 

What classifies as Traumatic events? 

     Any event that goes beyond your coping abilities or coping skills. For instance, Sexual abuse, Physical, Emotional, Verbal Abuse, or Pedophilia; along with Neglect, whether it's Emotional, Physical, Educational, etc. Even Assault as well, whether Physical or Sexual.

How does this relate to Autism?

  Well, like other types of humans, Autistic people also go through traumatic events and possibly a little more, due to how vulnerable we are. 

What types of traumatic events do Autistic go through?

  We can go through any. Although, most of time, it tends to be emotional abuse, based on bullying, which is considered in that department now. Though, we also tend to be, especially as of now, sexual objects to be people, who are obsessed with intercourse and genitalia, even if they are one of our own. This can happen at any age, even as children or adolescences However, sometimes, it's not always that straight forward, we can also go through things like physical abuse or abuse from Narcissists, etc. 

  In fact, according to a website called Psychology Today, there was study done by three people called Rueben, Stanzione, and Singleton (2021), they did an psychological experiment where they had a samples of Autistic people, with a total of 687 adults. And from there, they each interview these Autistic people to see what traumas they had and whether they trauma or not; regardless of gender. From this study, they had found that yes, a lot of them did go through trauma, considering how the study showed that 72% of these Autistics had gone through sexual or physical assault or other unwanted sexual experiences with only 45% had PTSD. Which only displayed the fact that 32% of Autistic adults are at higher risk for PTSD. Interesting, isn't?

  Although, according to a small study that a place called Tree of Life Behavioral Health did, where they had 12 Autistic women from Facebook, who were also provided with free Autism psychological evaluations, were taken and studied into (Psychology Today). Though, out of those 12 women, these women had experienced physical abuse, emotional abuse, rape, incest, or other types of trauma, only one met criteria for Autism and PTSD. Weird, huh? 

Do you see how Trauma can come an Autistic person's life? I sure do!

Do you have Trauma yourself?

  Yes, actually, multiple to be precise. All long and repeated. One of them was when one of my cousin had isolated me sort of into a private smut roleplay that I did not realize until later in my life. At the time, I was a dumb teenager while he was 6 years older than I was. However, through this roleplay, he used me for his sexual desire, according to my therapist when I told her, then tried to back out of participating in the friendship we had by multiple successful attempts of ditching and ghosting me for years, despite how attached he had me towards him. Even despite the fact that he had us do this almost every day, even after I came home from school on phone or in-person at my grandma's. Dealing with this, I couldn't cope with it all, in fact, every laughter I could hear from my gender dysphoric sister and her friends, I cried harder, because it would remind me of the good times that he and I had together. Although, I had gotten through step by step with my therapist and eventually, because I missed the story so much I wrote a book to help me let go of the pain. 

         So, as you can see here, I have faced through emotional abuse and sexual usuation ( at least, that's what I like to call the second part of it). 

Another trauma of mine is witnessing Pedophilia from my mother towards my sister while she was under influence. Along with her emotional abuse These attempts would always go unnoticed, except for me and my father. However, my father was never that much of a help. However, it would happen constantly, whenever she would binge drink, considering Alcoholism runs in my family. It would from an unwanted kiss on the lips to licking my sister's neck. And before you ask, no, it was never reported, because whenever I tried to, the words that came out of my mouth, were, "She's drinking," (mind you, I was about thirteen or older), and the only thing that took from that was that I did not understand why people drank, because of my Autism. Yeah, stupid, right? Either that, or when I went to my paternal grandmother about it, she just told, "Oh well, it's over now," and while my former troop leader would just explain how she is stressed and how to understand my mother's side. And from that point on, I had developed a trauma core belief of "All Adults Want Kids to Suffer" and I had no trust or any love or like towards Adults. I even wanted to better than them and redefine what an adult was. This anger left me to lash out at my mother, cause distrust between as she drank and the aftermath of her withdrawal from drinking (Thanks to my sister). I mean I have seen and heard some fucked up things throughout that time that have left me, I guess as of now, numb to it. 

   Now, I don't whether these next two would be or at I know one isn't, but I had been through enough toxic friendships that have left me tears, due to how I became excluded for no reason, according to my knowledge. Now, maybe there was a reason, but I have no idea what it is. All I know now is that they didn't want to hangout out with me. Although, I did leave one toxic friend, I'll call her, K, who both wanted to be the center of my attention, but also hated me if I ever stepped out of line or offended her. For instance, one time, when I was hanging out with everyone, especially with whoever I was in love with, K would get upset if I ever invited them to an event of if I hang out with them, along with everyone and not just her. Then come talk to me, to ask why I won't hangout with her and with whatever guy I liked to "Just Talk to Him" on Facebook. Along with the time, she told me not to the date the high school senior guy, who liked me, so I didn't. However, once I was gone for sick day and everything, she decided that she wanted to date him instead and do it behind my back, according to the guy. Yeah, infuriating, right? K did many things like this, even trying to either make some drama or include me in it, because to her something right in her eyes. Which, some wasn't right, I will admit, however, pretending to my friend one minute and my enemy the next, even in relationships, considering how she said she hated how everyone always comes to cheer me up, but never her, despite how she is one who has me crying in the end. This is according to one of my good friends, who called me about what K said behind my back, when she talked to one of her friends, who talked to him. Though, this was during the time that he, one of my good friend and I were just trying to be friends in middle school, however, you know how things go, rumors fly and before you know it, here comes K with her drama. You know, blaming me and everything, wouldn't let it go, so as I talked to my another friend of mine, I will call this one, J, I stopped hugging him to make her happy. Which I mean I was sad, because I did not want to hug everyone and not give him one, because to me, what if he wanted one and I couldn't do that, I would've never lived with myself. However, after talking with J a little more, I did stop hugging him. I mean I get why she was like that, since I have also been in a situation where the girl, not K or J, but a different toxic one, I'll call her B, DID like my boyfriend and did not like that I was with him. However, different than her, I didn't start any drama, I just kept it inside, despite my anxiety, because I didn't want to be like K. I never want to be like K at all. Even now, whenever I get jealous, I don't like it, because my mind associates jealous with her. Even if I am friends with another girl's boyfriend or something, I tend to leave them alone, but I am afraid of what the girl will do, even if she is my friend as well or wouldn't do something like that. I am working around this, but I am always cautious, you know? Even though, I know this isn't a trauma at all.

Other than that, there is just the woke non-profit organization, that I am struggling to deal with as of now. I don't know if I would consider this a trauma or not, but if you want to read that whole story, click here. 

Conclusion

  In conclusion, you can see that Autistic people can go through a lot, especially bullying, and develop trauma from a lot of different things. Myself included. Though, from the studies, it seems that maybe Autistics go through a little more than their neurotypical peers. And with that said, thank you for reading and I'll see you in the post!

And that's it, Lovelies! If you enjoyed this post, share, comment, and follow my page for more! See ya next post! Bye!

       Works Cited: 

• Penot, Jessica L. LPC-S. (2022). At the Crossroads of Trauma and Autism. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-forgotten-women/202207/the-crossroads-trauma-and-autism 
• Cleveland Clinic. (N.F.) CPTSD (Complex PTSD). Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd
• American Psychiatric Association. (Feb. 2022). DSM-5-TR. American Psychiatric Association Publishing.